“The world as it presents itself is of no meaning to the newly developing human being unless it is created as well as discovered.”
Donald Winnicott
How should we think about our relationship with the external world and with other people? Since Descartes, philosophers have started with the experiencing subject and then run into difficulties. If we are essentially subjects who have experiences, how can we get beyond our experiences and have real contact with the external world and with other people?
Ludwig Wittgenstein wasn’t particularly interested in metaphysics, but his early work reflects traditional philosophical ideas about the individual’s relationship to the world. According to the Tratactus, the world is the totality of facts. It consists of things and their relationships. It has no inherent meaning. It is alien to the individual, who just has to accept its soulless reality. This is hard, indeed, unbearable. So, the individual seeks to take revenge on the world by asserting that their true self exists outside the world and that world only exists as their experience. The brutal otherness of the world (and their insignificance in relation to it) gives way to the comforting declaration that “the world is my world”. Unfortunately, this narcissistic conclusion has its drawbacks. It means that there can be no direct contact with external reality or with other people, and that there is nothing outside the indivdual that can enrich them.
As a psychoanalyst, Donald Winnicott approaches this issue rather differently. Unlike philosophers, he does not take the existence of the experiencing subject (the self) for granted. On the contrary, he presents the development of a self as a challenging journey, and one that many people may need help later in life in order to complete. At the start, there is no subject, no baby – just a spark of life fused with and dependent on its mother. How the baby’s self develops depends on the the support that it receives from its mother. According to Winnicott, the developing human being faces two challenges. It needs to establish a relationship with its body (with its needs and desires), and it needs to establish a relationship with the external world. Winnicott argues that the baby can only meet these challenges if its mother indulges the baby’s omnipotence. When the baby experiences hunger, the mother needs to allow the baby to believe that it created the breast that satisfies its need. This approach enables the baby to relate positively to the need, since it is a need that the baby has the resources to satisfy. Its needs and its resources are matched, which means the baby can enjoy having and satisfying its needs.
Where the mother does not indulge the baby’s omnipotence, things go wrong. The baby experiences its needs as alien demands that it cannot satisfy and that it would rather not have. Each time the mother meets the baby’s need, the trauma is increased rather than eliminated, since the baby is confronted with its dependency. It needs the breast, but if the breast is perceived as something other, something entirely outside it, the baby will hate its need and hate the thing on which it depends. It is not a good breast. It is an uncaring, alien thing that the baby has to subordinate itself to in order to get what it needs. It may even appear as a malevolent thing that tantalises the baby and punishes it for having needs.
Of course, no one is suggesting that the baby really creates the breast. But, according to Winnicott, good-enough mothering involves allowing the baby’s this illusion and disillusioning it in doses it can cope with. This is a difficult process. The baby does not want to accept the existence of a world on which it is totally dependent. It denies that the breast is the mother’s insists that it created the breast. This attack on the mother’s love for her baby is painful, and she may retaliate and force the baby to recognise its dependence. This takes us back to the negative scenarios outlined earlier. Alternatively, the mother may comply with the baby’s assertions, in which case the baby will come to expect its omnipotence to be permanently accommodated. A third possibility is that the mother is destroyed by the baby’s attacks, in which case the baby will feel guilty, will fear the destructive power of its own impulses, and will be scared to interact with a world that is too fragile to cope with its demands.
But the normal, positive scenario is that the mother survives the baby’s attacks without retaliating. In this way, the baby becomes able to recognise that, while it has needs and capabilities, there are other selves that also have needs and capabilities. Rather than being humiliated by its dependency, it discovers that its needs can open up a relationship with another person, who is experienced as good. The baby accepts that it is not self-sufficient, but it still feels that it is good to have needs. It is able to enter into a relationship with a world that has meaning for it, a world that meets its needs and, if not created by it, seems at least to some extent created for it. The baby can feel: the world is my world, it is a world I have a place in. Furthermore, the baby recognizes that it shares this world with other people and that the “not-me-ness” of the external world is an enrichment of its own world.
What should we make of Winnicott’s story? Well, it provides a framework for understanding people. We can use it to reflect on the way an individual is living their life and to seek to understand why they relate to themselves and to the world in the way they do. Do they relate to their desires as theirs or do they wish that some (or all of them) did not exist? Is their body something they enjoy or something they seek to ignore or wish they were not lumbered with? Do they relate to the world as containing good things and as a meaningful place where they can be creative and play? Or is it a hostile place they have to cope with or a dead place that has nothing to offer them (a totality of facts as it were)?
Does this mean Winnicott’s account is just a story, just a framework? Well, we understand the physical world in terms of the concept of gravity, so, is this just a framework, just a story? No, it is a framework that explains things – which is exactly what Winnicott’s account seeks to do. We may argue that it exaggerates the importance of the first six month of a human being’s life or challenge its strong emphasis on the mother/primary carer or dispute its claim that failure to indulge the baby’s omnipotence creates difficulties in how the individual relates to herself and to the world, but this just underlines the fact that Winnicott is making substantive claims. His account is not just an interesting way of looking at things. Rather it seeks to explain why people are the way they are. Evidence for and against his account can be put forward even if the validity (or non-validity) of its claims cannot be demonstrated as straightforwardly (or as conclusively) as claims in the natural sciences.
But isn’t there also a specifically Wittgensteinian challenge to this account? Winnicott attributes thoughts and feelings to infants who are nowhere near being able to talk and whose behaviour cannot demonstrate the complexities that would seem to be needed if we are to ascribe complex thoughts and feelings to them. What possible criteria could there be for saying that a baby believes (or does not believe) that it created the breast? Winnicott would certainly claim that there are things you can observe when a baby feeds that would support one conclusion rather than the other, but his claims do not rest exclusively on what can be observed in infancy. On the contrary, what the person the baby becomes later says and does, how they relate to the world, to other people and to their bodies will all reflect and therefore testify to how they experienced the first months of their lives. Winnicott is making claims about the first experiences of the baby, but the significance of those claims mean that the evidence for and against them can be drawn from any period of that person’s life. This type of link between a claim and the criteria for it is typical of psychological concepts. There are many criteria for the claim that X harboured a grudge against Y since their youth, but if X is good at hiding their feelings, the decisive evidence for the truth of this claim may only become apparent after a twenty-year period of apparently civilised interaction.
Another way of approaching this Wittgensteinian challenge is to note that Winnicott was led to his account by his experiences with patients in analysis. Patients talked about what they believed they felt when they were very young (and they had dreams that seem to reflect what they felt), but more importantly they related to him in ways that convinced him that this was how they related to their mother as a baby. This may seem speculative or far-fetched, but, as mentioned earlier, this evidence does not stand alone. It links up with the here and now. The point of Winnicott’s claims about the patient’s experiences as a baby is to cast light on the way they think, speak and act today outside the consulting room just as much as inside it. Furthermore, as a theory about how human beings develop, his account casts light on the thoughts, attitudes and behaviour of people who would never think of seeking psychoanalytic help. It certainly seems plausible to me that people’s relationship to the world outside them, to other people and to their own bodies is structured by the introduction to the world that their mother or primary care was able physically and psychologically to provide them with.
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